I hope you missed me as much as I missed you, my nine followers. I gotta say I am a little bit depressed. I have been at nine followers for a while, not a lot of upward movement in the followers section. I know that turnout is pretty low in presidential elections but I don't think nine will cut it. So I guess my goal for 2012 is to leave the single digit followers in the past and move on to double digit followers. That is a good step. Also, I don't have any followers from another country. I wish I did. I consider myself exotic and I don't understand why I don't have international appeal. Maybe it's because I'm too "dashing"..........
You might be wondering what I am talking about, I don't know. I am kind of rambling.
I do have a story, which is what pushed me back into the blogging world. I have been working at the City Creek project downtown. It is a massive project spanning two square blocks. Lots of work, very stressful, blah blah I'm sure I will post a blog about it in the future. What happened today was when I was driving home.
I was still in the city, I hate driving in the city. I hate that there are stoplights located in the middle of the damn road that are only there to allow pedestrians to cross the street. It is slow enough stopping every block at a red light, now we have added lights every half block. When I am president I promise to make these sorts of shenanigans illegal. Quite frankly, it's bad for the environment for me to be stopping at all these red lights, when a human, arguably not bad for the environment in its simplest form, could easily walk a block or two to get to that Carls Junior across the street. Not only is this good for the environment, but it would lower health care costs. I am pretty sure there is a formula that could be created that would show the association of "Distance you had to walk to Carls Junior" in relation to "The decline in health care costs".
Second thing I will do as President, I will take this formula....lets call it, "President Naylor's guide to walking so much you lose weight and stop costing America money". I will turn it into a law that requires fast food restaurants be located a certain distance from the nearest parking lot. You want a Baconator that's fine, you can have a Baconator, after you walk 4.8 miles uphill. I hope you enjoy it, Subway is only a half mile away.
Wow, I just wrote that. Might as well go with it.
So I am driving in the city and not only do I not like stopping at these mid-block pedestrian inconveniences, I also suck at it. Half a damn block between red lights, can't even check facebook in that distance. I might as well push the damn van to save the environment. Third thing I will do as Presi....no I better not do that.
I am having a hard time getting on with the story.
Ok ok ok what is important here, oh ya I suck at stopping at mid block red lights. I am driving home, listening to the radio, kind of spacing out. When suddenly I realize I just blew through one of these hated mid-block red lights. Unfortunately there was a man crossing as well. He was about five feet to my left. I understand I might have reacted poorly to this situation, but I also think he was slightly overreacting. He felt the need to show me the length of his middle finger. It was a pretty long and well built middle finger. Definitely in my top 50 of middle fingers that an angry dude has shown me. He also mouthed two one syllable words, I couldn't hear the words because Lady Gaga was on the radio. We will just assume that he said "Ga Ga", and then he was just wondering if I had a middle finger as well built as his. For the record, my middle finger trumps this dudes middle finger. I will go out on a limb and say I can deliver one of the most presidential middle fingers in the history of middle fingers. JFK worthy.
My actual reaction to this situation was completely different and influenced by my lovely wife Annie. Annie used to drive a prius and she always told me that whenever people would honk at her on the freeway she would just wave. So I did this.
I turn to the guy to my left by five feet and wave. He didn't like this at all, but I was in a car so I wasn't too worried about a foot pursuit.
I continue driving and approximately two blocks later a guy in a Toyota Sequoia was trying to merge and I slowed down to let him in. He in turn waved to me. I waved back, this I can recommend. Me and this guy are like on the same page. I like the right lane, he likes the right lane......I'm sure we have other things in common as well.
Two completely different waves. The first wave guy was a jerk, that probably cheats on his taxes and beats his wife and/or girlfriend, and likes the Yankees. The second wave guy? Oh this guy is awesome! He drives a Toyota Sequoia? I love those types of automobiles, I have actually been considering purchasing that exact type of automobile. Such a nice guy. I bet he hates the Yankees, unlike that jerk Yankee fan that apparently has a problem with almost being ran over.
Very interesting. Two situations, both ending in a wave. I just wonder, if the Yankee fan would have been driving the Sequoia how much would I hate Sequoia's? Probably a lot, but today I am pro Sequoia's.
I just re-read this post, I'm weird.
-Nick
