Power tools, cranes and other kid friendly items.

This is going to be informative.

That is what I told myself when I began writing this note. It will serve as a convenient guide for anybody who may not be familiar with the construction industry. It will help you avoid being mocked in the future. So...here we go.

First I will educate you, then I will tell you a short story so you can read and go "Wow I'm never gonna be as dumb as that guy." I work commercial construction. You could potentially see me at any given job site around Utah. We hit a lot of them. I install expansion joints. That is a key piece of information, if you are taking notes, write that down. I am a sub contractor. Basically it works like this, the General Contractor(not me) bids the job to the owner and they pick the best price and award the job to the cheapest General Contractor. Who then goes out and hires subcontractors to do the entire job. Except the concrete work, it is some unwritten code that the General Contractor gets to screw that up all himself without involving any other companies. It's like picking Mark Eaton to shoot your technical fouls on the grounds that "Well he knows what a technical foul shot is, so I guess we should let him shot them." I would pick a more recent basketball star but quite frankly, I don't know any. The Nba lost my attention once they went all gangsta. That sounds slightly racist......wow ok getting sidetracked here. I feel like a new paragraph is in order. I don't know a lot about paragraphs but if it will help me stop talking about Mark Eaton I am in.

So we got it covered that the General contractor does not build the building so much as hire other trades to build the building. So they hire electricians, painters, drywall guys, brick masons, blah blah blah. We all have our part. So this is what I am trying to teach each and every one of you. Everybody has their part. Just like Mark Eaton blocks shots and avoids the long ball. By long ball I mean 3 pointers. I kind of suck at sports dialogue. How the hell did I get back on Mark Eaton? New paragraph.

You probably think I am completely crazy by now, but fear not, this kind of has a point. I will get to that point by telling you a story. Today I was working on the BYU Campus in Rexburg Idaho. I should probably give you a little background on Rexburg first. Rexburg totally sucks. That is all. Anyway so I am working on campus and we are working on the exterior of the building, so a lot of students are walking by. Keep in mind this is still a construction site. So this goofy, clean shavin, awkward guy walks up to me, we will call him Joseph Smith. So Joseph Smith walks up to me and says "Oh, hey....um....are you....working on this construction building?" (Keep in mind that I am wearing a hard hat and safety vest) I look up at Joseph Smith, and what I wanted to say was "No. I am not working on this construction building." What I did say was "Yes, I am working on this construction building." So I feel I have synched right in with his awkward vibe and I am eager to here more from Joseph. I knew he wouldn't let me down. He then pointed to the construction building bridge and stated "Well, I just thought I should tell you that there is a light that is dangling down on that bridge that was installed improperly." I immediately recognized him as one of the people that doesn't distinguish between construction trades. Now what I should have said was "Oh thanks! I will go rewire that light as soon as I am done pouring the concrete on this construction building. Then I will go finish painting, setup your wireless network and begin making hot chocolate in the cafeteria. I hope they have enough wipped cream." What I actually said was "Thanks, I'll get right on that."

So the moral of the story is to remember that the workers you see on a construction building site are all part of a puzzle. Everybody has their part. The second thing you should remember is that calling a job site a construction building is very awkward.

I don't know if this will appeal to anybody, but it has a lot of helpful information in it.

-Nick