Not even Jesus was this perfect. Volume 1

I have an iMac at my work. I have a Macbook Pro at my house. In a few months time I will finally make the jump to the iPhone. Ask me to stump for the droid OS and I will refuse, ask me to go back to using a PC and I will laugh in your face. Ask me to talk positively about Apple as a company and I will frown. I am Nick Naylor, and I hate Apple with a passion.

Did you hear it? Yep you guessed it, millions of people

just read my blog and exploded with rage.(Full disclosure: Millions of people do not in fact read my blog.) You see Apple die hards do not just stand by and let peasants talk negatively about their beloved. To these people Apple can do no wrong. It is that mentality which I believe has led Apple to where they are now. Arrogance. They have an extraordinarily loyal fan base that eats up anything they give them, regardless of the quality of the product received.

In June of 2010 Apple released the answer to all Apple die hards prayers. The iPhone 4. It turns out that this is the 20th consecutive time Apple has answered the prayers of the die hards. What a streak! The iPhone 4 was an amazing piece of equipment. Utilizing a camera that takes extraordinarily good pictures compared to other phones on the market. FaceTime was introduced along with Folders and multi tasking among other things. Such an amazing piece of technology that had Apple die hards screaming from the rooftops about how great it is. Of course they were screaming from the rooftops because the phone itself had this handy feature included that if you held it, it dropped calls. How innovative. The phone had an antenna inside the exterior band around the phone. Unfortunately there were certain spots on the band that if you put your finger on, service would drop dramatically. Surely the company will immediately realize their error and apologize to the consumer.

Steve Jobs response:

If you are having a hard time reading that email I will summarize it.

Customer: Hello, I love my new iPhone 4(required to get a response) except it isn't being a very good phone. When I hold it I can't make calls.

Steve Jobs: Don't hold it. Dumb ass(implied).

The effect this response had on the Apple die hards? None. The CEO of Apple just told all early adopters of the iPhone 4 that they were dumb asses for holding the phone. Unbelievable.

Fast forward to the present and we find ourselves with a shiny new operating system from Apple. LION. Side note: Apple is going to run out of animals that sound cooler than the previous animal. With that said I am stoked for T-REX OS.

My problem with LION is the little things. For example, in the old OS you would slide your finger from the top of the magic mouse down and the web page you were looking at would scroll down. It is a handy feature that Apple users have been using for years. Well somebody within Apple had a great idea for new OS.

Hypothetical Meeting Transcript #1

Apple Boss: Ok guys, I want to hear your new ideas. Todd whatcha got?

Todd: Well....um I was thinking that.....maybe we could switch the magic mouse scroll so that if you slide your finger from the top to the bottom the page you are looking at would scroll up.

Apple Boss: As opposed to sliding down?

Todd: Yes exactly.

Apple Boss: Why would we do this?

Todd: Well...it would be new.

Apple Boss: I like it.

You might be thinking to yourself, who the hell cares? Get over it Nick, it's called evolution. Well we have 4 iMac's in the office and I have to set them all up and fix everybody's problems and every computer has the mouse scroll set differently. So every damn time I get on a different computer I scroll the wrong way and it really ticks me off. Todd needs to lose his job for changing shit that doesn't need to be changed.

Moving on, I have been setting up a lot of software on iMac's in the last few months as well as a network for all the computers and Quickbooks to run on. It has required me to dig a little deeper into the infrastructure of the Lion OS. I have attached two more pictures, on showing the Leopard view of "Finder" and the other showing the Lion view.

Again, the first screenshot is the old OS Leopard, and the second screenshot is the new OS Lion. As you compare the two screenshots, you should notice that one thing is missing out of the second screenshot. The Hard Drive. I have even taken the liberty to search for the Hard Drive in the Lion screenshot. Apparently my new iMac is hard drive free! Do not be fooled into thinking the "All My Files" is the new hard drive. "All My Files" is code for "The files we want the peasants to be able to work with". I suspect it is another one of Todd's ideas.

Hypothetical Meeting Transcript #2

Apple Boss: Todd, where the hell did the hard drive go?

Todd: I removed it from view.

Apple Boss: Why?

Todd: It was bugging me.

Apple Boss: Can we tout this as a new feature?

Todd: Um, we can say we streamlined the "Finder".

Apple Boss: Well done.

In order to solve this problem I googled "Why did Todd remove the hard drive from the finder display window". That didn't help at all, neither did "Why does Todd do the things he does?". I did figure out how to convince my iMac that the hard drive does in fact exist. Then I had to it again on another iMac. Basically I'm getting old and ornery and don't like it when things change for no apparent reason. I decided to put Volume 1 after the title of this blog because I am not done with my criticism for Apple.

Oh and I hate Todd and everything he stands for.