Shameless

It's my birthday, and I took time out of my busy and hectic schedule to write this blog. I can't really explain it, I just have an overwhelming desire to make my blog followers happy. I always put them first when I am making an important decision in my life. Also, on an unrelated note how better to make a strong push to 20 blog followers than posting a link to my blog on my facebook page on my birthday. Maybe I'm being cocky but I'm pretty sure my page will see an uptick in traffic and I want to capitalize on it.

In other news.....

shame·less

   [sheym-lis] Show IPA

adjective

1.

lacking any sense of shame: immodest; audacious.

2.

insensible to disgrace.

3.

showing no shame.

Ok now that we have that out of the way we can dive into the meaning, or lack there of, of this blog. It seems that fate has determined that the rest of my blog will be indented. Unfortunately blogspots word processor is beyond awful, so my apologies but that is just going to be how it is.

So it's my birthday, so I am assuming that all of you have taken the time out of your busy lives to personally wish me a happy birthday on Facebook. I understand that it took a lot of effort to sign into Facebook automatically, and then look at your main screen which told you it was my birthday. Then all that work that went into the typing of "Happy Birthday", or for overachievers "Happy Birthday Nick!" into the text field and pushing submit. I'm tired just thinking about it and I'm on the receiving end. (that's what she said)

You might be thinking, it's probably not good policy to mock the very people you are trying to get to follow your blog. You are absolutely correct, but I've been making fun of myself for well over a year on this blog so you're just going to have to deal with this inconvenience.

So here is what really angers me even more than the laziness of the Facebook Happy Birthday message. The Facebook Happy Birthday thank you that I am apparently expected to send out at the end of my glorious day. Maybe I'm just being a jerk about it but really? I really need to send out a generic "Thank you so much for the birthday messages, I can't believe how great my friends are!" message? I will not do it. No. Actually I take that back, I will do it on one condition. I currently have 160 friends on Facebook. If I receive 160 Facebook Happy Birthday messages I will send out a thank you message because that would be remarkable. If you fail to reach 160 then each of you owe me a drink. Fair is fair.

Moving on, the next person that posts something saying "I am cutting down my friends list, message me if you don't want to get cut", is going to get a message from me asking to get cut. Nobody cares about your arbitrary deadline for cutting down your friends list, you have 800 friends. Cut a quarter of them blindly and move on, it's more fun that way. No status update needed.

Also, if you are having a bad day and feel the need to end your status update in ".....",

you can just go ahead and not post that update. It's called "vaguebooking" and it is annoying.

Stop setting a sympathy trap for your friends. If you have a problem and need to talk, pick up

the damn phone. Ex: "Why did this happen to me......", "My life is so shitty today......".

You are

are making a shameless(see above) attempt at attention and I don't like it.

Finally, maybe Facebook shouldn't be used as a device for you to talk about very personal

things going on in your life. Example, if me and Annie have a fight, it would be considered bad

taste for me to make a banner of why I am mad at her and hang it in front of my house. Your

status update is basically that. Public.

I hope I have shed some light on proper facebook technique. Unfortunately I didn't have time

to finish this blog properly and I didn't feel like waiting another year to post it. See you around.

Note: Little to no grammar correction has been performed on this blog. Sorry.